Freedom in God's Love

I've been reading/studying Malachi 2:16, the often referenced verse about God hating divorce.  It's been tossed into my face plenty of times...but has anyone ever gone deeper to ask WHY God hates divorce?

One article talked about the heartbreak God Himself experienced with the unfaithfulness of His people.  That He was provoked enough to press for a separation from them.  Another article broke down the elements of that entire passage - what was going on historically at that time and the lessons applicable to now.   

In my experience (and the experience of a number of ladies that I know), the burden/demand/effort/expectation/judgment has fallen upon us to "FIX" the situation, our marriages.  If we tried harder, submitted more, prayed fervently, encouraged, loved, twisted ourselves even more into a pretzel THEN the situation would improve.  I've been offered books to teach me how to be a better wife and even thousands of dollars worth of counseling to help me cope better and ultimately to cause me to change my mind that enough is enough.   

I'm not venting.  

I have seen God's hand move mightily on my behalf even in the midst of this current situation.  He hears my cry, loves me deeply, and shows me His tenderness.  I am awed by His closeness, the intimacy I am experiencing, the courage He gives me to face all of this openly.

The weird focus shifting of responsibility goes back to the Garden of Eden.  Adam remained silent as the serpent tempted Eve, though he was given the authority and responsibility from God.  He quickly pointed the finger at her.  

The word to leave and cleave was directed from the beginning to men; women by their very nature were already wired to do that.  I know all too well the pain that occurs when HE doesn't and won't leave the intimate company of his family of origin and choose to forge a new family system with his wife.

Finally, I received an answer to something that was a stumbling block to me since my wedding day, when I sat down recently with the pastor who performed the wedding.  In the ceremony, he gave a charge to the husband that I was his garden and that everyone would see how well he was cultivating/taking care of his garden.  Since being discounted, ignored, neglected, etc. was common from early in our marriage, the pastor's words bothered me.  Was it just a flowery saying for the ceremony?  Did he mean it?  And what was I supposed to do as the neglected garden???  I brought it up in our recent meeting, and the answer presented itself clearly to me:  I was to turn to the Lord and allow Him to take up the tender cultivation of me, now and forever His garden.  I was never able to see that before, so downtrodden and in despair.  Now my head is lifted up towards the Son, and my face radiates with the joy of knowing His love unhindered.  

 ¹FOR ZION'S sake will I [Isaiah] not hold my peace, and for Jerusalem's sake I will not rest until her imputed righteousness and vindication go forth as brightness, and her salvation radiates as does a burning torch.    ²And the nations shall see your righteousness and vindication [your rightness and justice--not your own, but His ascribed to you], and all kings shall behold your salvation and glory; and you shall be called by a new name which the mouth of the Lord shall name.
    ³You shall also be [so beautiful and prosperous as to be thought of as] a crown of glory and honor in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem [exceedingly beautiful] in the hand of your God.
    ⁴You [Judah] shall no more be termed Forsaken, nor shall your land be called Desolate any more. But you shall be called Hephzibah [My delight is in her], and your land be called Beulah [married]; for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married [owned and protected by the Lord].
    ⁵For as a young man marries a virgin [O Jerusalem], so shall your sons marry you; and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.
    ⁶I have set watchmen upon your walls, O Jerusalem, who will never hold their peace day or night; you who [are His servants and by your prayers] put the Lord in remembrance [of His promises], keep not silence,
    ⁷And give Him no rest until He establishes Jerusalem and makes her a praise in the earth.
    ⁸The Lord has sworn by His right hand and by His mighty arm: Surely I will not again give your grain as food for your enemies, and [the invading sons of] aliens shall not drink your new wine for which you have toiled;
    ⁹But they who have gathered it shall eat it and praise the Lord, and they who have brought in the vintage shall drink it [at the feasts celebrated] in the courts of My sanctuary (the temple of My holiness).
    ¹⁰Go through, go through the gates! Prepare the way for the people. Cast up, cast up the highway! Gather out the stones. Lift up a standard or ensign over and for the peoples.
    ¹¹Behold, the Lord has proclaimed to the end of the earth: Say to the Daughter of Zion, Behold, your salvation comes [in the person of the Lord]; behold, His reward is with Him, and His work and recompense before Him.
    ¹²And they shall call them the Holy People, the Redeemed of the Lord; and you shall be called Sought Out, a City Not Forsaken.                                                                                                                                                         Isaiah 62